Beindult a gonzóbiznisz

Az író 1937. július 18-án született a Kentucky állambeli Louisville-ben. Újságírói pályafutását 1956-ban kezdte, szabadúszóként számos neves lapnak dolgozott, köztük a Time-nak, a The New York Herald Tribune-nak és a Rolling Stone-nak, amelyben 1972-ben Richard Nixon elnök választási kampányáról írt azóta klasszikussá vált cikksorozatot, majd 1974-ben saigoni tudósítója is volt a vietnami háború utolsó időszakában.

Itt következik egy részlet egy 1980-as P.J. O'Rourke-interjúból, angolul. O'Rourke a Mester jó barátja és kollégája a Rolling Stone magazinnál, a vicces háborús riport műfajának megteremtője. Magyarul a Vakáció a pokolban című kötetet olvasható, azaz nem olvasható, mert olyan kevés példányban jelent meg a Narancs Könyvek sorozatban 1994-ben. Ha meglátja egy antikváriumban, ne habozzon! Még jobb ötlet megtanulni angolul, mert a szerző rengeteg könyvet írt és mindegyik veszettül szórakoztató.

R: Recently you told a college audience at Marquette University, "George Bush should be killed. He should be stomped to death and I'll join in." How did the students react?

HST: Hey they cheered! Then I called for a voice vote. It was two-thirds to stomp him. Meanwhile some fucking maniac recorded it and took it to the Milwaukee Journal. And the U. S. attorney in Milwaukee was about to indict me on two felony charges: five years for threatening the vice president and another five for inciting others to do it. I started getting calls from the Secret Service.

R: Did you answer any of those calls?

HST: Not at first because I thought they were cranks. If it was important they'd leave a message. And then the Secret Service showed up at the Examiner and at my lecture agency. I realized they were serious. So I called the Secret Service guy in Denver, Larry Hoppe. And he was very nice. And I said, "What's going on here, man?" And Hoppe said, "Dr. Thompson, let me tell you one thing: I would advise you not to go to Washington without talking to me first." So I said, "Come on over. What the hell."

Well, we talked for a while, and by that time Hoppe knew it was a joke. I said, "Have times changed? I've threatened to drag people around Washington by their nuts behind Oldsmobiles at a hundred miles an hour. I've advocated the slaughter of all politicians. What are the guidelines now?"

He had a pretty good sense of humor. He said, "Well, you can't say that he should be strung up. If you say that to people, WHAP! Ten years. You can say he should be tarred and feathered." And I said, "Wait a minute. I don't grasp it. What's the difference?" And Hoppe says, "I don't know. That's the way it is. Don't go out any more and threaten to string George Bush up or stomp him to death."

R: Now, to what level of public figure does this extend? Take somebody I really hate, like Meese. Meese is not an elected official. Can I say that somebody should slice Meese open and wrap his intestines around a phone booth?

HST: No, you probably can't. He should be flogged -- just not to death.

R: What if we said Meese should be fucked by an elk?

HST: That's apparantly harmless as hell. I believe that Ed Meese -- being a person without any honor, a fat bastard, really a congenital cheap pig in the style of and on the level of Richard Nixon -- should be locked in a large concrete basement with an elk. And the elk should be ram-fed full of acid before he's put in there.

R: An angry, horny acid-crazed elk.

HST: Meese is naked, and the elk is huge, maybe 800 plus.

R: Elk can be ugly customers.

HST: And once they're full of acid, and they're really horny -- oh yeah, all night long!